Updated: Apr 13, 2022
Do you realize that there is power in the words that you speak?
Your words have power to either build up or tear down.
I have three beautiful children and I have always taught them to never say or use the words...I can't. I tell my children to not say, what they can't do but instead say, I am having difficulty doing this and I need help. My one and only son is on the autism spectrum, and I did not allow him to use his challenges as a crutch.
When my son was two and three years old, I was very anxious to find out why my son wasn't talking and developing the way his peers were. I was so worried about my son and his future. I would always pray and ask God for answers. After I would pray, I wouldn't be still and listen to God for His answer on what I should do next but I would just continue to take my son to different specialists for answers. I had to have answers. I had to know what was going on with my son. I took my son to a developmental specialist, who told me, my son is mentally retarded. This same specialist, who happens to be caucasian, proceeded to say, if you are black male and can't talk, it is a wrap. This specialist then looks at my oldest daughter who was at the visit with us and says, do you need me to evaluate your daughter too?
I got up and grabbed my children and told, the specialist, no, you have done enough.
On my way home, I remember crying so hard, I could hardly see while I was driving. I remember crying out to God and begging God to heal my son. This time, I stopped and listened to what God would tell me. I remember God telling me, stop running around trying to find out what is wrong with your son and enjoy him, he will be fine. God also told me to address my son's challenges individually (his speech, his motor skills, etc).
I spoke to my son's primary doctor about getting an order for speech and occupational therapy. I did so much research in an attempt to figure out what else I can do to help my son and I while I was researching my son's challenges, I stumbled across, autism. I didn't want to believe my son had autism, but it appeared that my son had a lot of characteristics of autism. Even though I was starting to believe that he may have autism, I didn't want to hear anyone else say, your son has autism. It seemed more official when other people said it and can see it. If I said, I think, my son has autism, it was just what I thought, and it was unofficial. Again, I talked to God and asked God if my son has autism and God spoke to me and said, he does but autism will never hold him back in his life. God also told me that my son has autism but autism doesn't have him.
As my son got older and got into first grade, the school he attended evaluated him and labeled him as autistic. I was heartbroken but I already knew. All of the questions came to my head, Will my son ever talk? Will he ever be able to live on his own? Will he ever get married? Will he be able to drive a car? Will he be normal? After I got through crying some more and asking God these questions, I realized that I am going to have to pull myself together and fight for my son. I prayed to God every day, to give me strength and to help me not get wary no matter how hard and bad it gets. When I say, God gave me strength that I didn't know that I could ever have, He did and I knew, it was nobody but God. This was a journey that I could not take alone and definitely could not travel with God.
I became vigilant about my son's treatment and education. I never made my son think he was any different than anyone else. I chose not to tell my son that he had autism until he was 14 or 15 years old. I never wanted my son to feel sorry for himself or to have anyone else feel sorry for him. I never planted a seed of doubt and defeat into son. I always told my son; you can do anything you put your mind to, but you will have to put in the work. I always tell my son that with God, all things are possible. My son, especially, was never allowed to say, I can't. I would shut down anyone who would try to tell him, he can't and won't.
Fast forward to now, my son is 19 years old and is finishing up his first year in college, he is majoring in computer science, he drives himself to class. My son is respectful, he loves God, he plays the drum (has been playing them ever since he was 15 months), he was in the marching band in high school. My son has good friends, he has a job, he cooks and takes good care of his sisters. I am so proud of my son and he is everything I prayed for. My GOD is good! Our God is good! All glory belongs to God!
My faith has increased so much while on this journey with my son. I did not give up on God and I could not give up on my son. Even today, my son does not walk around telling people, he has autism, my son calls himself a Christian, a percussionist and a computer programmer; my son is not a victim, he is victorious.
It is important to teach our children, as soon as possible after birth, to not say what they can't do. It is also important as an adult to not say, I can't. Our words have power, and they hold energy. If you walk around saying, what you can't do then chances are you won't be able to do it. Don't wait on anyone else to lift you up, lift yourself up by reassuring yourself that you can do anything through Christ who strengthens you. Also know, with God, all things are possible, not some things, the bible says, with God, ALL things are possible. That is good news! If God is not putting limitations on us, why are we putting limitations on ourselves and other people.
I thank and praise God every day for His grace and mercy. I thank and praise God for allowing me and everyone around me to see what God is able to do if we just call on Him and have faith in Him.
But Jesus looked at them and said to them, "With men this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:13
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. -Proverbs 18:21 (NIV)
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.- Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV)